What Gets Left Behind
by Sisi Rose
Summary: So Bella thinks the change is inevitable, the only way to save those she loves from the Volturi. A mostly selfish rationalization, even if her heart is in the right place. But what Fate means to be done, will be done.
1. Chapter 1

Follows Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse..._Breaking Dawn will be ignored._ No infringement intended, please enjoy.

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Leah took a slow drag, trying to savor her last cigarette, mentally counting the change in her POS's center console in the hopes she could afford another pack tonight. She let that train of thought wander off as she decided to swing by her Mom's house and grab a ten from her wallet instead.

She knew Sue wouldn't notice. Friday night, she'd be passed out drunk on the couch, in the dark, in front of a flickering, muted TV set. Some old John Wayne flick, her Dad's favorite. How anyone would chose to cap off a long grueling week, no? Whatever… It was her Mom's business how she chose to deal or not deal with stuff.

At least her Mom had a choice in life. Unlike her...and Seth…and the others… As they all sat on the sidelines and watched life pass them by.

Well some of us are resigned to that fate by now. Others still fight it. Like Paul, sweating it out in a jail cell in Forks right this moment after another stupid bar brawl. Always trying to defend the tribe, to the bitter end she supposed, if there ever would be an end for any of them.

Charlie probably would have let him off the hook too, if Paul could have kept his sharp tongue and comments about Bella to himself. Charlie was all full of the guilt. Rightly so, she figured. And he knew how much Paul cared for Billy. How Paul was one of the few Billy still had left to him.

But then Paul was never one to think before leaping. The guilt and the pity from Chief Swan, Bella's father, were the last things he had been interested in. So he'd leapt right into jail. Fourth time in as many months. Charlie had told him the fifth time would be the charm. He could finally send him down to Walla Walla and get him out of his hair. He hadn't meant it, though.

Yeah, Paul really should just chill. Stop fighting it. There was nothing worth fighting for anymore, anyway. So, unlike Paul, Leah chose the easy way. The sidelines way. And tonight she was in the mood for just watching from afar.

A harsh grin slashed across her face, white breaking the shadows that had previously only been illuminated by the red glow of her butt. She was hidden in the tree line, watching as the gang of teens tagged the old man's garage.

_Hail to the Chief!_ Clever, she thought. Disdain with just the right amount of disrespectful respect thrown in.

She tossed her finished cigarette to the ground, and as she snuffed it with her bare heel into the wet earth she toyed with the idea of doing something about the vandalism. Maybe trying to stop it or something... But almost as soon as the notion was in her head it was out again.

Her momentary lapse in ambivalence however caused Leah's thoughts to go back to earlier that night. After her shift at the bar was done Rach had wanted Leah to give her a ride to go bail Paul out, but she'd told her no. Which Rachel had been none too pleased about, as Leah's still stinging cheek currently reminded her. But as it was, with the night visitor's work of art to come home to, jail was probably best for Paul right now. In jail for fighting was better than in jail for five maulings.

It was getting easier and easier for Leah to ignore the misplaced feelings of loyalty that reared their ugly heads every once in awhile. Besides, it wasn't like the old man would ever see the damage anyway. He never left the house since, well since… And even if he did, he wouldn't make it far trying to wheel himself through the forest the backyard had become.

She laughed bitterly, the gang had to clear away several shrubs themselves just to get a big enough space to spray paint on.

She looked toward the orange letters once more as the teens moved off into the night. Little did they know how right they had gotten it, how true their sentiment really was. The garage had been his territory after all. The pack's Alpha, their _"Chief"_… Even in the dark her keen eyes could make out the lurched shapes of pilfered car engines and hulking metal skeletons.

Stupid misplaced kids, with stupid misplaced bitterness towards a helpless old man. A relic of a Chief, an elder with no power. Lashing out against the mess the whole tribe had become because of one foolish boy's choice.

And in the end the teens' protest wouldn't get them what they wanted. Paul was probably one of the few, if not the last, in the tribe that still cared. That sill wanted to make a difference and stop the endless abyss of chaos all Quileutes were swirling in. But with Paul's quick temper he wouldn't see this as a cry for help, he'd just see the defacement and take it as such.

He tried to lead, but he didn't have the patience. He didn't have a pack to follow him. He didn't have the blood for it, the birthright. Not that those that did respected what they had. One hid at home, behind his hurt pride and scarred, fate-given wife.

The other hid somewhere in the forest, tail between his legs, licking his wounds. She assumed that was where he was. Leah had been called on a few weeks ago by the leech doctor and knew that might no longer be the case.

That was a large reason why she was even here tonight, why she'd been here every night since, stalking the Black's property like a mistreated guard dog that just couldn't bring itself to run away from home. In her bones she knew eventually he would come here. Her place in the pack kept her here, against her will, but by his. Even if he didn't know or care that he was willing it.

And why fight it. Wasn't like there was anywhere else she had to be. Besides buying some more smokes, she really needed some more smokes. The All-Night Quick-Trip store would be open, of course it was all the way on the other side of Forks. Still, nothing a quick run through the forest couldn't attain, as a wolf.

She was about to slip out of her clothes and phase when the snap of a twig being stepped on brought her to attention. She turned, already knowing who was behind her.

"Hello, brother," she practically purred, "Welcome home, to what's left of it, anyway."

Jacob Black was back. But was it too late?

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Please review, if you like. This will definitely be AU, and a multi-chapter story.

Thanks, Sisi


	2. Chapter 2

On we go...

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Jacob pushed past Leah and reached for the wall of the garage, yelling back toward her when his fingers came away wet, "What is this?! The paint's not even dry yet! This just happened?!"

Leah stalked forward pretending to examine her fingernails, angrily trying to ignore the unwilled shame that coursed through her knowing her Alpha was displeased, knowing she could have done something to stop it.

"Yeah, ya just missed them, Jake," her gaze was unwavering, unforgiving, "Too bad you weren't here ten minutes ago, or, ya know, ten months ago."

Jacob felt the sting in her words, but didn't let them distract him, "_You_ were here, Leah. I still smell the smoke from your cigarettes in the air, on your breath… Why didn't _you_ stop this?!"

She raised her hands mockingly, feigning surrender, "I guess ya caught me red-handed. But it could be worse, eh? At least I'm not orange-handed, huh, _Chief_?"

He blinked, confusion fogging his mind, he ran his dry hand through overgrown hair, seemingly trying to force clarity, "So this is directed towards me?"

Leah rolled her eyes, "I choose to think of it that way. The kids that just tagged that little message are probably directing it towards your father, though. Maybe towards Paul, I guess. They don't like him much, either."

"Not like my father? Paul? I don't…" Jacob didn't understand, couldn't wrap his head around any of it. Vandalism on the Res? So much disrespect…

She watched him, her leader, as he stood aimless, thoughts swirling. He reminded her of a child that had run away from home, returning only to find that there wasn't exactly a home to come back to.

Leah was continuing, "They blame your father, almost as much as they blame Sam…"

"Blame them for what, Leah?! You're not making any sense!" he interrupted.

"There's not much sense to anything that's been going on lately, Jake. But if you'd been here, then you might at least understand it," she sighed, "Of course if you'd been here then maybe none of this would even be happening." Leah was losing her enjoyment in seeing Jacob suffer and flounder at her words. She knew the truth, even without her sarcastic commentary, would end up being painful enough.

But still, she didn't like that the fight seemed to be leaving her so quickly. And she felt resentful that it seemed it was Jacob's determination to understand, to force her to help him understand, that was ceasing her struggle.

"Stop alpha-ing me, Jake!" she bit out, "You don't have the right!"

Sweat was beading on her forehead with the efforts of her exertion. Jacob's bidding was harder to fight than Sam's had been, Sam had always given her leeway. Still, she knew it was a losing battle. She needed Jacob to lay off.

He'd been staring her down and at her words he could hear the mantra that had been cycling in his mind, _'Tell me, tell me, tell me…' _He turned it off without knowing when he'd even willed it to start.

A shudder ripped through his body and he swore he could feel the foreboding grabbing at his ankles. His instincts were begging him to phase back, to return to the woods where it was safe, and secluded, and quiet. A lot had happened during his time away and it seemed like none of it had been good. _'His time away!'_ his mind scoffed at him, _'It's not like he'd been on vacation!'_

He'd turned his back on his pack. On his brother's and sister and that decision had been reverberating for months know. It seemed even his whole tribe was feeling the effects. He was Alpha. He'd claimed that title and that responsibility when he'd refused to let the pack fight the Cullens after they'd changed Bella.

He'd claimed it, but he'd done nothing with it.

Leah was starting to breathe a little easier, a little freer, but she was feeling jittery, jangled after her battle of wills with Jacob. He was very strong. She needed a cigarette.

"Look, boss," she started, happy to hear the familiar insolence returning to her tone, "I need to run an errand. I'll be back, why don't you catch up with the fam while I'm gone?"

She turned to leave but was stopped, by more than just Jacob's words she knew, "Leah, I don't like that's you're smoking. Maybe you need some help quitting?"

"Don't you d-d-dare!" her bitterness flared, making her stutter, "I've had enough mental rape for one night!" Leah's words were vicious and they socked Jacob nearly to the ground.

He started to shake again, his emotions threatening to drown him, to force him to phase and hurl back at his attacker. He'd lost so much of his control these past few months. But it was his own words Leah threw back at him like daggers. He'd used them many times on Sam, forever railing against an Alpha's authority to bend all of them into meek abiding subjects.

He'd always thought it was way too much power for one man. He'd never known how easy it was to abuse it. It made him understand Sam a little better, pity him some.

"I'm sorry, Leah," he said, eyes falling to the ground, unable to look at her, "That was very wrong of me."

She said nothing, just ran off into the night, leaving him standing alone in the dark, amidst the weeds that like him didn't respect boundaries. Unwanted intruders in what had once been a beloved and happy meeting place.

How many bonfires and parties had the pack enjoyed here? During happier times…but he shook off his melancholy. No sense avoiding the inevitable.

Leah hadn't given him the answers he'd needed but he hoped his father would. Knowing Billy and how he despised those that shirked their responsibilities and duties his little reunion with Leah might end up feeling like a freakin' welcome home party.

If anything though his Dad would hold him accountable. He wouldn't let Jacob walk out that door again not knowing exactly all the damage his choices had caused.

Billy was pulled up to the kitchen table staring at the back door as if he'd expected Jacob to walk through it. Upon closer inspection though, Jacob saw the opened crossword puzzle book and discarded pencil lying neatly in front of his Dad, not seeming to mind so much that they were being ignored.

Billy was lost in thought and Jacob could tell it took him a moment to register exactly who it was that had just barged into his house.

Jacob had gone over this encounter more times than he'd been able to keep track of during his time in the forest. He tried to prepare himself for a gamut of emotions but didn't know exactly which one to expect first. Disappointment, anger, revulsion? Any and all he knew he deserved, he just didn't know if he was ready to face them.

Billy was filled to the brim with feeling but none of it was what Jacob was valiantly trying to brace himself for. The old Quileute's face erupted into the biggest smile that Jacob had ever seen. He thought maybe it beat out the one captured on that old black-and-white photo from his Mom and Dad's wedding.

In his haste to get to Jacob, Billy managed to knock over one of the kitchen chairs. It fell in the quiet house with a sound like an explosion but Billy easily veered around it letting nothing more stop him from embracing his son. Distance and heartbreak no longer seemed to be in the way, why should he let a chair be?

Jacob might have been stronger than his father but he couldn't resist the gentle but firm grip that clasped his hands and brought him to his knees on the cool tile floor. His Dad's arms were around him and they didn't seem like they would release anytime soon.

Jacob didn't fight the welcome. He didn't realize how much he'd needed this but suddenly he couldn't picture his homecoming without it. There was a lot of mess waiting for him, that he had to deal with, and now it looked like dealing might be a little easier, even possible because his Dad had his back.

Jacob pulled back, couldn't stop his voice from cracking as he addressed the man he hoped he could live up to be even half as good as, "Dad, I…"

But Billy interrupted, shut down all his lamentations before he even had the chance to utter them, "Jacob, you've let yourself become much too thin. If you don't mind, pick up that chair and grab a seat at the table. There is some leftover casserole from dinner the other night that I'm going to heat up for you."

"It's that one Rachel makes with the spicy sausage that you like so much. It's funny, I actually thought to myself while we ate, wouldn't it be great if Jake came home this week while we still had leftovers… Crazy, huh?" his Dad continued about the kitchen, bringing Jacob the warmed food and some iced tea once everything was prepared.

"Just like that? You knew I'd be back, Dad?" Jacob couldn't help but ask, he felt like he was dreaming. How could this kind of welcome be possible, he didn't deserve it. The blunt questions were a test, like he was trying to pinch himself and return to harsh reality.

"Jake, of course I knew you'd be back. There is too much that needs to be healed, too many people that care and depend on you. I know my son and I knew you wouldn't stay away from your responsibilities forever," Billy's gaze held Jacob's as he spoke, he wanted to leave no room for argument.

The unwavering belief in Billy's eyes was hard to ignore, but Jacob just couldn't help testing his luck again.

"And what if one of those responsibilities, one of the people that depends on me is Bella? What if I'm back for the very reason that I left? Am I still the son you believe in, the man you think I am?" he was trembling, ready to break out into a sprint if the love stopped. If his Dad couldn't take the part of him that still had to fight for Bella.

Billy was quiet and gestured for Jacob to start eating. The food was starting to grow cold and the boy hadn't even had a bite yet.

He'd be lying to himself, and to Jake, if he didn't admit that his son's last statement didn't anger him some. So much had gone wrong while he'd been gone. Jake was going to have to spread himself pretty thin to get a handle on even some of the problems. Could he manage while still trying to juggle the emotional roller coaster that girl always put him on?

"Charlie's daughter seems forever entwined in your destiny, doesn't she, Jake?" Billy queried, though whether he was asking Jacob directly, or pondering aloud was hard to tell.

Jacob decided to continue the conversation since his father didn't seem to imply he should do otherwise, "I made a promise to her that I can't break, Dad. I kind of came back to talk it over with the pack first, though, it's a big decision that I can't make on my own…"

He trailed off and Billy continued, "You made a promise to the pack as well, Jake. A vow that was sealed the day you chose to become Alpha. Of course even that decision was tied up in Bella, too, now wasn't it?"

Jacob refused to feel ashamed about that choice, "Going to fight her, Dad, to kill her, it wasn't an option. It would be like someone telling me to kill you, or Rach, or Becca… It wasn't a possibility."

Billy admired his son his loyalty he just wished he could be sure it wasn't misplaced, "Dr. Cullen found you, didn't he, Jake?"

"Why do you ask that?" Jacob stuttered out, surprised, "Did he come here, too? Did he tell you what he wants me to do?"

Billy frowned at Jacob's tone, he didn't like the fear he heard there, "No details, Jacob. Just that he needed to see you. What is it that he needs of you, exactly? I assume it has something to do with Bella?"

Jacob finally started shoveling some of the food into his mouth, using it as an excuse to answer his Dad in the simplest terms possible, "Yeah, it does. But like I said, it needs to be discussed with the pack."

His Dad appeared to decide to back off for now, he'd get the details in time, "It will be good to see everyone in the same room again. It's been too long."

"Paul should be home shortly. He's taken to staying here with Rachel and I since you left. Everyone else should be fairly easy for you reach, except maybe Quil. He's been away for a while, too," Billy's voice grew strained as he spoke of Quil.

Jacob stopped chewing and stared at his Dad waiting for him to continue, "Where's Quil, Dad? What's wrong?"

"Well, a couple of months after you left. There was a car accident. Emily's sister and her daughter were killed…" Billy trailed off.

"Oh, Dad, not Claire," Jacob couldn't believe it. As Billy nodded sadly the front door opened.

"Billy, its Charlie," called out a cautious voice, "Not trying to intrude so late, but I brought Rachel and Paul home…"

"Charlie, why are you bringing them home? What happened?" Jacob came into the front room and barely had time to think about the shock his appearance might cause.

When Paul heard Jacob's voice as he passed over the threshold into the house he immediately seemed to snap. Charlie swore he could see death in the boy's eyes and he feared for Jacob's life.

But as soon as the threat had developed it was like at the same moment in time all the fight left Paul. All Jacob had done was look at his former friend and the situation was under control.

If Charlie hadn't witnessed Paul's quick temper too many times to count himself he might have begun to doubt his own senses. Wonder if he'd really seen what he'd thought was about to happen. If there was any doubt it was erased by the fact that his gun now rested securely in his hand, leveled at the calm figure that he was certain just moments ago was about to start a rampage.

The gun appeared rather incongruous now, Jacob agreed, "I don't think we need the firearm, Charlie. Paul was just a little startled by my sudden reappearance, I think."

Just as his defenses began to lower, Charlie's adrenaline was provoked again by Jacob's words, "Gone for near a year and you already know the party line, huh, boy?" He holstered his gun.

Charlie was sick and tired of hitting against this same brick wall again and again every time any situation involved the Reservation. Something internal was tearing apart an entire culture that he loved and respected dearly, but whatever solidarity they couldn't seem to manage among themselves they sure were able to turn out in spades when any outsider dared to butt in.

He remembered a time when he never would have dreamed of feeling like an outsider in this house.

"Jake, I've had to pull my weapon on this boy more than my entire career working in Forks. I know his anger and his strength so don't demean to me and try and tell me that it wouldn't have been useful if Paul hadn't managed to control himself and had decided to rip you apart instead!" Charlie breathed heavily with his indignation.

Jacob backed down but Rachel, not deeming any subtle respect necessary, whether it be fake or not, chose to make Charlie feel the heel again.

"Dad, I'm sorry Chief Swan is even here," she said, addressing Billy, "I know you don't like him coming around, but it was the only way I could get Paul out of jail. Charlie dropped the charges as long as he could make sure we came home tonight. He didn't want Paul going after those asses from the bar."

Rachel's tone left no doubt her opinion of Charlie's involvement tonight and Jacob didn't like this new development one bit. The idea of anyone in this family not treating Charlie as anything less than a full-fledged member was almost inconceivable for him to understand. But the fact that his own father seemed to endorse this dynamic change is really what had him floored. Apparently even his father had his faults. And all this after Charlie had helped the Blacks out tonight.

Before Rachel could prattle on further, Jacob turned to Charlie, "I want to apologize for my sister's attitude, Chief Swan. And also for what my father's might have been these past few months. In fact, I want to apologize for any attitude you might have encountered on this Reservation lately that was in any way disrespectful toward you."

Charlie remained silent and Billy spoke up, "Charlie, Jacob has returned home tonight and he is taking a lot onto his shoulders right now, but he in time will need to remember some humility and understand that other's decisions in life are of their own making."

Jacob watched in despondency as his father's words bowed Charlie's shoulders and turned him toward the door. His steps were halted though when Billy continued softly, "Still, though Jacob speaks out of place his words do not for that carry any less truth."

Charlie didn't respond, just resumed his exit, but Jacob knew how well the man that left knew his father. Charlie understood that Billy, despite his pride, was apologizing. Reaching out a bit, while still trying to express to his friend that though he couldn't explain, there was a reason for his past betrayals.

Jacob didn't know why but he found himself following Charlie outside, "Chief Swan, wait…" though now that he'd spoken he didn't know exactly what he wanted to say.

Charlie spoke for him. "Charlie, son, you know that…" and he smiled, "Jake, it is good to see you again. Despite my temper a moment ago I want you to know that you've been missed."

He clasped Jacob on the shoulder and Jacob began to see in his eyes a reason that maybe he shouldn't have tagged behind him after all. He was about to ask questions that Jacob would have no answers to.

"Have you heard from Bella at all, Jake?" Charlie was hopeful, and eager, "I mean she e-mails pretty regularly. What more could a father ask for, but it would be nice just to hear her voice. To get some news with some substance…"

He trailed off, laughing at himself uncomfortably, "Well, of course Renee says she talks to Bella now and then on the phone so I guess that should be good enough for me, but it's just not. I miss her more than, well more than I knew was possible after having been used to being apart from her and well, you two kids were always so close…"

He was rambling, every word cutting Jacob deeper and deeper, but the words kept flowing, "And I know Billy says he hasn't known where you've been all this time but I kind of figured that your disappearance had something to do with Bells. I know you care about her and I've just never had a good feeling about her being away at college with her new husband and I knew if anyone shared my uneasiness it would be you. Have you been around Dartmouth any, Jake? Have you seen or talked to her at all?"

Jacob still hadn't answered him and Charlie rubbed at the back of his neck wearily, "I know I shouldn't ask this of you, son. Bella sure did a number on you and it wasn't right. I carry a lot of guilt about the repercussions her choices seem to have made with you and your family and friends. I wish I could change the way things turned out, none of this is what I wanted. And maybe if Bella had just stayed with Renee and never come to Forks…"

At that finally Jacob found the strength to cut in, "Charlie, you know my Dad was right earlier. People have to be left to their own choices and their own consequences. We can't suffer guilt for the things we can't control. And I'm sorry if people here have been making you feel that you should be suffering. Nothing is your fault."

As he spoke the words felt foreign on Jacob's tongue. He knew with conviction that Charlie shouldn't be feeling regret for his role in what destiny had carved out in this little part of Washington, but even though Jacob knew he should take his own advice, after all that he'd seen so far of life on the Res, guilt and shame and responsibility would probably be the only feelings he'd be experiencing for a while to come. Pot meet kettle.

There remained Charlie's other questions, his pleas about Bella. Jacob hated to lie to the man that meant so much to him. He hated that out of some righteous, self-entitled idea of their place in Bella's life the Cullens had decided to keep her loved ones in the dark about her. Of course it could be Bella's decision too, he had to acknowledge that fact.

Jacob chose to go with a half truth and told Charlie that he hadn't spoken to Bella since her last visit to the Reservation. He let the man wrongly assume that was also the last news of her he had. He didn't mention his recent visit from Dr. Vampire. He swore to himself, though, as Charlie walked away, that eventually he would bring this broken soul to his daughter. Even if it ended up being only so he could tell her goodbye.

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Thanks for reading! -Sisi


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